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PERSONAL: Selfish best

After a debrief and a bit of a short sharp verbal kick up the butt, I am feeling a bit better about such a selfish way to deal with a situation.

After a week of indecision and advice that frustrated me, I had the choice between two options, choosing the selfish latter.

Yep you guessed it – a girl.

To cut a long story short, it is never going to happen and instead of keeping how I felt to myself, I go ahead and tell her, doing the right thing by myself and the selfish by our friendship.

Yes I admit it – I acted completely selfishly.

A lot of the time we feel like life just isn’t fair, that nothing makes sense, and that no one sees the good in what we do, they always just see what is bad about it and tell you why how your feeling is wrong.

Sometimes we tell ourselves all these things as well. I certainly do.

Have you ever been for a walk or a drive somewhere and a question that swirls round and round in your head? Have you ever known you should listen to good advice but you go ahead and do the exact opposite?

Welcome to life. Sometimes we just don’tmake the right decision.

You are only human after all, and as much as you want something or someone, sometimes you just cannot have it.

This week I felt like shit for the better half, mainly frustrated with myself more than anything, and I was annoyed that all the people I talked to for advice said the same thing because what they were saying was the truth I knew.

The truth hurts sometimes, and in my mind anyway, I was damned if I did and damned if I didn’t.

So, like usual, I went against the advice of nearly everyone and did what I felt was the right thing.

I am the type of person that is really intense about simple things, but when it comes to feelings and anything really ‘big’ like that, I find it really difficult making sense to myself, and I always let my heart get far more invested in something than it ever should.

I guess the point to this blog today was to just get it off my chest.

A lot of people have my back and for that I feel like I can go through almost anything and come out the other side with a positive outlook on a situation. I tried, that is all that matters.

I’ve got no choice but to take the selfish approach on this one – because my feelings were completely that.

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