PERSONAL: Inside my complicated mind

I am working harder now in 2015 than I ever have before.

In the last year, I have developed a deep hunger to make better use of the time I have each day.

There is not a lot of down time in my world, the responsibilities I set upon myself tie in with setting a standard for myself that sets itself apart from anyone else.

I want to work harder, longer, more intensely, and with more commitment to my craft than anyone else.

Going through depression and the subsequent counselling I learnt that the key to overcoming those dark thoughts is to have a purpose in life, set standards of behaviour, know you are not perfect, but belief in yourself to absolutely no end.

Sometimes I have to do the old “fake it until you make it” thing, it isn’t always to back yourself – especially when you have depression.

I strive for achievement; yearn for opportunity, and I love proving my biggest critic (myself) wrong about something.

I like to grab the unattainable, and make it my moment where I can say to myself “shit… I actually did that”. I want to look at the world around me and know I am making a difference to it, I want the people I care about to be loved and without hardship, and I like to try to solve the problems of others first.

So with that crazy mindset, a mindset that some would say is rather self boasting and obsessive, here I find myself in August 2015 and the last year has been so rewarding that I don’t even know where to begin.

Being a full time media student, part time intern, radio show host, and freelance journalist is incredibly time consuming.

It means that I constantly have a variety of content to either create or complete, and that doesn’t include all the research and prep work that goes into all the projects.

In journalism, you often have to work around other people, and sometimes you are working with a very short amount of time to complete the whole cycle.

With my Communications Internship at CCS Disability Action, I am in an editorial role of sorts. We produce a newsletter style magazine, so for that I am interviewing disabled people and their families for stories, and most of the other time per week is spent writing. I usually get allotted a set number of tasks to complete during the “creation period” of the magazine, and then once all the writing is done you take on the role of a sub editor, going through the entire magazine from top to bottom, word for word, picture by picture, number by number, checking for anything and everything.

This process usually takes another month because there are constant re-writes, edits, and changes that need to be made in some form.

Then the magazine goes to print, we have a meeting, and the whole process begins again for the next one. In any form of news, there is ALWAYS something to write about, a story to chase, a person of interest, and as soon as you complete one story, another is immediately at your desk.

It is 8 hours per weeks work, and while that might not seem like much, it actually is!

In some ways, my commitments outside of the classroom have severely strained my ability to maintain the grades at Wintec.

There is a mindset amongst some at Wintec that what I am doing in regards to the work experience isn’t really work, more just an over eager fan boy claiming to be busy. This is as far from the truth as you could possibly imagine. To them, the internships, the work experience as a journalist, the radio show, all of it is something I chose to do, wasn’t rewarded with.

I won’t lie, my grades this year at Wintec aren’t as good as they were last year.

I am still passing, but usually as soon as class is finished I am either off to work, to an interview, or do write up a story for either the magazine or the website.

I still get my homework done, usually on Sunday afternoons at home.

In closing, this piece tonight wasn’t to rave about how busy I am and how I am so much more deserved than anyone else.

I just wanted to express that you get what you put into this world, I know I have an almighty long way to go until I can call myself a legitimate journalist, but I know I am on the right track. Some would say that Michael Pulman has developed something of an attitude in the past year, and I couldn’t agree more. The feedback that I constantly get has always been positive,

I back myself to get the job done and I have never believed I couldn’t complete anything.

I know that it will always be about my attitude and what I put into things.

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